Pregnant from a quickie

Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you and your staff. This is the first time I am writing to you.

I am a 20-year-old girl and I am pregnant. The child I am carrying is not for my boyfriend, but he thinks that it is. I went to the beach with some of my friends. I told my boyfriend that I wanted to go and he said it was alright with him. He even gave me money to pay for the trip.

We were there dancing and carrying on and drinking. I felt a little tipsy, so I went into the bus and was trying to sleep it off. The bus driver was also in there. I knew him. He told me that I could lie down at the back and I was fast asleep. When I woke up, he was sitting on the seat and he asked me if I could give him oral sex because he was feeling horny. I told him that I only do that with my boyfriend. He was there playing with me and then he asked me if I would have sex with him because everybody else is on the beach and they wouldn’t know what went happened.

After a while, he pulled down my swimsuit and started to play with me down there and he inserted his penis in me and discharged. I tried to push him off so that he wouldn’t discharge in me, but it was too late. I could not tell anybody what we did. They were all at the beach having fun. I went into the water hoping that everything would be washed away. A couple of days later, I had sex with my boyfriend, but we used protection. But then I missed my period. I told my boyfriend that I did. After six weeks, I did a pregnancy test and realised that I was pregnant.

I am going to college. I do not want this child. I do not know what to do. My boyfriend who supports me very well is going to leave me; I know that for sure. I spoke to the bus driver and told him that he got me pregnant. He said he doesn’t have any children so this would be his first. So he hopes that I will not throw away the belly. If I do, he said that he is going to let everybody know what happened between us on the bus.

That was the first time I cheated on my boyfriend. Why did I allow that to happen? Please give me your advice.

K.

Dear K.,

Have your baby. Don’t be tempted to terminate the pregnancy.

Tell your boyfriend the truth. The bus driver did not rape you; you were careless with yourself. Imagine your boyfriend gave you money to go on the trip. You had a little too much to drink, but you were conscious when this bus driver and you were fooling around. You have let down yourself. You know that it was not your boyfriend who got you pregnant, so you should expect him to end the relationship with you. Why should he continue with you when you have betrayed his trust? The alcohol must have still been in you when you allowed this man to pull down your swimsuit and have sex with you.

I can’t encourage you to do an abortion. You are going to have to live with the mistake that you have made. After you have given birth, resume your studies and that is all I have to say.

Pastor