Baby for a house - My partner promises to buy me a place if I get pregnant

Dear Pastor,

This is the first time I am writing to you, and I hope you can help me. I have one child by a man, but I do not love him. However, I love my child.

When I got pregnant and told the man, he said I should get rid of it, but I refused. Now the child is 10 years old, and I am 31.

My son's father knows that I do not love him, so he entered another relationship and has two children with that woman. This man is now begging me to take him back into my life, but I really do not love him. I told him that he should give his son the love he has for me. He is very good to his son.

He is 53 years old and has never settled down. He travels a lot and has now become an American. My son attends a well-established prep school and lacks nothing. I am working. Whenever he offers me money for myself, I accept it, but I do not want to go back to him as my lover.

I have a partner, but we do not live together. My son tells me that whenever his father calls, he is always asking him whether I have a man coming to the house to see me. So I called him and told him that he is out of order questioning my son, and that whatever I do is up to me and not his business.

I am not a full Christian, but I am attending church. The man I call my partner is a church man and is encouraging me. He was once married, but is now divorced. He had two houses and passed one on to his wife.

I told him that if we were to get married, I would not want to live in the house he is living in, and that he should buy one for the both of us. He said that does not make sense and that he would do so only if we had a child together.

Do you think it is wise for me to agree to get pregnant for him?

Right now, I am paying rent and my son and I live together. I would like to have my own place. I have been with this man for three and a half years, and I do not want to lose him.

E.

Dear E.,

You will never be happy with a man you do not love, so you are quite correct in telling your son's father that you do not want to marry him. I am glad that he is supporting his son, and I am also glad that you are able to pay your own bills.

You have made a good move by attending church. I hope that you will fully give your life to the Lord. Do not try to force this man to buy a house for the two of you. He already has a house, and if he marries you, you should move into that house. Be careful what you say to him. He may be at an age where he is not comfortable taking on another mortgage and may be focused on saving for retirement.

You should put aside money and buy your own house. If you were to get married, you could rent your house. That is how I see it.

Pastor