Husband spending too much time with a widow

Dear Pastor,

Christmas greeting to you and your staff, I hope that you have a very prosperous 2026.

I am in the United States of America and I wish I could be in Jamaica with relatives. I have one son for my husband and he is in college. He told my husband and I that he would like to spend Christmas with his girlfriend and her folks. He would spend the new year with us and he would bring her home. Believe me, Pastor, he is only 18, but talking to us as if he is a big man. My husband said I should remember that he is an adult.

I am longing to meet this girl in person. I have seen pictures of her and we have spoken on the phone. I asked my husband whether our son expects to sleep with his girlfriend in our house and my husband says we should behave as if they are married, because he is sure that they are sleeping together now. I told my husband that I did not sleep with him in my parents' home, but he just laughed at me because he knows that we used to sleep together anyway.

I am having a little problem with my husband. We have been married for 23 years and we have tried to do everything together. He is a hard-working man. When we met, he took me to the bank and put my name on two of his accounts. He did not remove his parents' names from one of his accounts that he had from he was a boy. His parents are still alive. His mother is very sharp. At the end of each month, she pays all the bills, but my husband checks everything to make sure they are accurate.

The problem I am having with my husband is that I heard from a good source that he is fooling around with another woman. He has denied it, but this woman lost her husband. She is older than my husband, but he goes to her house every week. He does not deny that, but he said he does so to make sure that she is OK. I call this woman sometimes to find out how she is doing and she says that she is alright. This woman has three adult children, so I told my husband that he should allow them to watch over her. He told me that I should stop being foolish, and has continued going to this woman's house. I told my husband that he would not want me to visit a man's house as often as he is going to this woman's house. The woman is 72 years old, but she is very strong. I know that she loves my husband. Please tell me if I am wrong for thinking this way.

E.L.

Dear E.L.,

Your husband does not have any objection to your 18-year-old son bringing his girlfriend home for the new year.

The sleeping arrangement should be discussed with him before he comes. Evidently, your husband believes that it would be natural for them to share a room. You believe that is wrong, but please do not embarrass your son and the young lady when they get to the house. Let him know whether he can sleep with his girlfriend or not.

You have a good husband, but you are a jealous woman. This man has been visiting a female every week. Perhaps you believe that he is going there too often, and a man is not expected to visit a female friend very often. You did not say it, but I suspect that your husband knew the woman's husband before he passed on. I will say that the relationship might be platonic, so put away the jealousy and don't harass your husband because he visits this woman.

Pastor