Boyfriend wants a side chick because I’m a virgin

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old and my boyfriend is 20. We have been friends for the past six months, and he is constantly asking me to have sex with him.

I keep telling him that I am afraid to have sex because I do not want to get pregnant. He told me that I should not be afraid to have sex with him because he is skillful and he knows what to do to prevent me from getting pregnant. I asked him if he would use a condom, and he said no, but if I am a virgin, it is not likely that I would become pregnant. I told him that one of my sisters told me that she became pregnant when she had sex for the first time. This guy is causing me to turn my mind against him. I really like him, but I do not want to have unprotected sex and in any case, I am not ready for sex.

I am in teachers' college, but if this guy would wait, I only have three years to go. He was bold enough to ask me how I would feel if he had another girl on the side. From the time he asked me that, I said to him "If you go with another girl, consider our relationship dead." He said I should remember that he is a man and he has strong sexual feelings.

Pastor, there are times when I have sexual feelings, but I control myself. I told one of my good friende and she said I can pass him on to her, but he would have to use a condom and pay her. She said it jokingly, but from what I understand, she has taken money from men to have sex with her. I want you to tell me what to do about this relationship.

K. T.

Dear K. T.,

You have already declared to your boyfriend that you are not willing to have sexual intercourse with him.

He will not die if he doen't have sex with you. He is talking nonsense about it being unlikely that a girl would get pregnant if she has sex for the first time. Many women have become pregnant the very first time they had sexual intercourse. Some guys talk a lot of nonsense when they want to go bed with women. But you are not a fool. I would encourage you to continue to study hard and don't allow any man to fool you. Concentrate on your college work.

This guy has passed his place to ask you to allow him to have sex with another girl. That is not a question for a man to ask his girlfriend if he is serious about the relationship he is having with her. As I see it right now, you should end the relationship you are having with him. Don't let it go further.

Concerning your college mate who suggested to you that she would have sex with him but he would have to pay her for doing so, you said that she said it jokingly to you. But she means it. Many girls who are students sell their bodies to meet their financial needs. Don't be close to this girl. She is no good.

Pastor